all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
