I am in a vortex of obligation.
operation have a gay friend backfired
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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