I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
