Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And then my night got REAL pukey
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
tell me about the eggs
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
