i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
