what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
