I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
