somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
