Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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