You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
