good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
