he referred to my room as the tit cave...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
