Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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