Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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