you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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