I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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