do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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