and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i think i just lost a toe
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
