I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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