Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
