FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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