It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
