The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
