she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
