did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
