My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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