Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
