i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
they're like a gay fantastic four
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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