Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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