He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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