In America we eat man semen.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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