He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
