He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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