In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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