I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize