Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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