im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
