did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
