I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
