Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
