How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
