Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
