my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Randomize