We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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