Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
