Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize