It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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