Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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