you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
