so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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