I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just gargled with NyQuil
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
