Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
