We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
