so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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