i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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