Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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