Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
