Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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