break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
