The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
