There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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