I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
