What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
